THE CLAIM
On a Tuesday, in a warren of no particular importance, a claim was made.
It was not denied.
Over the following twelve hours, one thousand male rabbits are said to have entered a converted community hall in an orderly queue and left, individually, through a side exit. No permit was issued. No permit was requested.
This is the story of what the warren agreed, afterwards, never to discuss.
THE QUEUE
The queue formed at 06:14 and was, by every account, extremely polite.
Participants were assigned numbers on arrival. Numbers were handwritten. Several were handwritten twice, which is the origin of a discrepancy this documentary will return to.
They waited. They did not talk to each other. One brought a folding chair.
TWELVE HOURS
The following times are reconstructed from three independent accounts, two of which contradict each other, and one of which was a rabbit who admits he was asleep.
| 06:14 | First arrival. Folding chair deployed. |
| 07:00 | Numbering begins. |
| 09:41 | Numbering pauses. Reason unrecorded. |
| 11:20 | A second queue forms, believing itself to be the first queue. |
| 13:02 | The two queues meet. This is not resolved. |
| 15:38 | Catering arrives. Nobody ordered catering. |
| 17:55 | The count passes 1,000. The count continues. |
| 18:14 | Twelve hours. The hall is empty. |
The count continuing past 1,000 is the single most-disputed fact in this matter. See The Evidence.
THE 1000
They wore blue balaclavas. All of them. This was not agreed in advance.
To this day no participant has explained where one thousand blue balaclavas came from on a Tuesday.
They have never met as a group since. They do not acknowledge each other in the street. Several have moved away.
THE WITNESS
One rabbit saw the queue from her kitchen window and has not spoken publicly since.
She agreed to be filmed on the condition that she would not be asked anything. She was not asked anything. The footage runs for forty minutes.
She keeps her paws over her mouth for thirty-eight of them.
THE EVIDENCE
What survives is almost entirely paperwork.
- 1attendance sheet, water-damaged, numbers 1 through 1,057 legible
- 1folding chair, unclaimed
- 40minutes of silent footage
- 1gold medal, struck for a recipient who has never collected it
- 0photographs. This is considered remarkable.
The claim was 1,000. Nobody has ever accounted for the difference.
BUNNIE #1000
Number 1,000 was issued. Number 1,000 was signed for.
Number 1,000 has never been identified.
The medal remains in a drawer in the community hall, in a box marked with a number and nothing else. It has been there for some time. Occasionally someone checks that it is still there.
It is always still there.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Most returned to work on the Wednesday.
The hall was repainted. The folding chair was never claimed. The catering company has no record of the booking and has asked us to stop calling.
The warren does not discuss it. The warren has, however, kept the sheet.